


Full Moon Memory Loss

by Zayroen



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Full Moon, Hale Family Feels, M/M, Wolf Derek, sterek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 04:54:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zayroen/pseuds/Zayroen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It happened every full moon, Stiles had been confused the first time but not the next. Or the next after that. In fact as the moons rolled by, he began to look forward to when it happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Full Moon

**Author's Note:**

> This is not beta'd so any mistakes are sadly mine. This is also a story that bubbled up after http://kisu-no-hi.tumblr.com/post/45638357525/little-red-riding-hood-was-too-curious crossed my dash! Very NSFW, consider yourself warned.

It happened every full moon and he really should say something about it. He really seriously should because what the all mighty fuck.

But he really couldn’t. He didn’t know how to start the conversation and he wasn’t exactly going to just walk up and throw it out there out of the blue. It might be easier if he stayed around afterwards but right around the time Stiles could feel his legs again, he was alone. 

It also didn’t matter where he was. Found that out the hard way. He’d forgotten what day was what and stayed late at work. It may not be the most glamorous job out there, but his boss didn’t care where he did the work assigned to him and he could just as easily stay late filling out paperwork and making sure all the t’s and I’s were dotted and crossed at home as in the office. 

He missed it the first time, the low sound of a slow inhale from the darkness of the hallway but caught it the second time along with a flash of glowing eyes reflecting in the dark window beyond his desk. Heart jumping into his throat, Stiles jumped to his feet and spun, hands fumbling for his phone because it didn’t matter how long he’d been living this secret life that was full of dangers. He was never going to be able to just grab his phone and call someone with the capability to grow fur and claws in a quick and swift motion.

He didn’t get very far before he recognized the growl that belonged to those glowing eyes beyond the doorway and wasn’t that something else, that he could pick out that particular growl after all this time? He slowly lowered the phone, heart hammering in his chest. “The fuck are you doing here?” he asked, glad that the office was empty at this time of night because he really did not want to explain the loud yelp that echoed in the dark room when Derek walked into the small pool of light cast by the lamp. “Why are you naked?” Stiles hissed before it all clicked. “Oh fuck.”

A quick glance outside at the full moon answered his question. How had he missed it? Sure he had been really swamped with work but to completely forget about it?

“You’re still…..Full Mooned aren’t you?” He asked the looming form as he set his phone back into his pocket. This had been happening for a few months now. Always on the full moon. The pack would run through the woods as wolves now, able to control themselves enough to stay far away from the town but for some reason….Derek came to him.

He was always naked, clothes didn’t exactly change when he went wolf after all. Stiles should really really tell someone, especially Derek but…he just couldn’t. What would he say?

That every full moon Derek sought him out? More wolf then man with hungry red eyes? How could Stiles tell Derek that for a few months now…he’d let it happen? Welcomed it? Welcomed the rough hands that reached for him, welcomed the stubble against his neck followed by the blunt bite of teeth.

How could Stiles tell anyone that he was too greedy to give it up? Oh and he was, so very very greedy. His hands were greedy, taking advantage of the bared flesh to touch and feel. Greedy mouth searching for Derek’s to take hungry biting kisses.

Who would understand how he felt when Derek’s hands, claws slowly breaking through whatever restraint Derek had and leaving little cuts and holes in his pants, tugged at his clothes? 

So Stiles told no one and welcomed it with all the greed he had in himself. Took everything Derek gave him and hoarded it like a sweet secret flame deep inside him. 

Took it and let his pants fall down to his thighs and moved where Derek wanted him. He knelt, hands greedy and tight on Derek’s thighs as lips welcomed Derek’s cock. 

It was less to get him off and more to get him wet and slick. Derek stared down, a hand cupping the back of Stiles head and the other braced against the desk that was cluttered with abandoned work.

Stiles let his eyes flicker closed and focused on the way Derek felt on his tongue, hot and heavy and how he smelled like this. There was the smell of the forest, of pine and fresh dirt and then the faint scent of smoke that always seemed to follow Derek around but maybe that was just in Stiles’ head. Over all that was the scent of arousal, it and the way Derek’s breath came out in little growling puffs made Stiles pull back to grin up at him. “Where?” He asked.

A part of him wondered if Derek could even understand him like this. He knew he was not dealing with the human part of Derek, not like this. It was the wolf, hungry and howling against his slick skin but either way, Stiles soon found himself bent over his desk. 

Well working here from now on was going to make him impossibly hard. He didn’t even care that most of the papers fluttered to the ground. They were instantly forgotten at the feel of a blunt heat against him.

There must still be a part of Derek somewhere in there because no matter where they were or what happened, he was always so careful. Sometimes, Stiles was prepared for it. Had buried his face into his own pillows, ass in the air and fingers slick with lube that he’d bought because who could he even ask to buy it for him? He’d even driven a town over to do it just so that no one would tell his Dad. Adult or not, no one wanted their parent to know they’d bought a giant tube of KY.

He hadn’t brought anything with him though, not this time and only had Derek’s own fluids and his spit to slick the way. It hurt, a slow stretching pain that made him grit his teeth and groan low and shaky in the back of his throat. Derek leant over him, a brand he could feel through his hoodie plastered against his back while Derek’s hips worked himself deeper inside. 

Stiles didn’t look at it to hard, but the slow stretching burn only served to inflame him more then he already was. Maybe it was the way Derek growled into his ear with each little push or maybe it was the way Stiles could feel his cock twitching inside. Maybe he just liked the bite of pain that rode side by side with the sweet pleasure of being filled. In the end, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the way it felt to be fucked like this over his desk in his office in the middle of the night.

He was once again thankful that the office was empty because he was anything but quiet. There were no pillows to muffle his cries into and they echoed in the room, doubling back on him and resonating alongside the harsh grunts and low growls from the wolf behind him.

It wasn’t long until Stiles opened up to the thrusts, legs spread as much as they could be with his jeans around his thighs but it was enough for Derek to hump into him. It only got better when Stiles arms gave out and he pressed his chest and stomach against the wood because then Derek’s short hard thrusts sent sparks flaring against his closed eyelids.

“F-fuck…Fuu~uuuuuhh~uuck…” He couldn’t thrust back like this, he was pinned agaisnt the wood and Derek’s hips and holy fuck was it good. Derek’s hands that had been gripping his legs and hips, leaving marks that would be so slow to fade on his thighs that Stiles would always relish and mourn when they faded, slid up his body. 

He’d long since stopped wondering why Derek sometimes slid a hand around his throat like this, accepting and relishing the sweet burn of desire it caused as claws lightly pricked his skin. Hint of danger maybe or perhaps it was just because it was Derek. Those marks he didn’t mourn as much as they were harder to hide and he liked not having to try his hand at make up or wearing high collars until they faded. 

Stiles fisted his hands against the desk, feeling it move slightly with each thrust and dammit his hips were going to be bruised from banging against it over and over but the worry faded as fingers slid over his lower lip and were eagerly taken into his mouth.

He sucked on them, cries turning a few more shades desperate when Derek’s response to flicking his tongue between them was to sink his teeth into the back of his neck. 

It was so good, so fucking good and he was a horrible person for letting it happen over and over. Every month he took what he could get and savored what taste he got from the alpha that never seemed to look at him twice that way the rest of the month. 

He could feel himself drooling around the fingers pressing against his tongue, eyes rolling back in his head as Derek’s thrusts started to loose their rhythm. He could feel Derek’s hips going harsh and erratic before he forced the rhythm back and he liked to think it was because Derek was holding out for him to cum first. 

Even if that wasn’t the reason, it was always the result. Tonight was no different as Stiles was soon crying out around Derek’s fingers, body tensed and shaking as he came all over his desk and what few papers had managed to stay on top. Derek found a new place to mark with his teeth and Stiles could feel the snarl vibrate in his chest where it was pressed against his back, could feel the hotness that flooded inside him, could feel where the claws on his neck pricked a drop or two of blood that rolled down his sweaty flushed skin. 

Everything was suddenly to much and not enough, pleasure welling up into he was blind and dumb, only able to hear the rushing blood in his ears and feel the vibrations of growls that slowly faded down to a low rumble. 

Stiles came back to himself still bent over the desk, pants around his thighs and stomach pressed into what he was pretty sure was his own cum on what he hoped was not an important paper. He layed there, letting himself cool off and come back to himself fully before he moved. 

Pulling your pants up while sprawled over a desk was a lot harder then you’d think but he managed to get them up if not done up and shimmied over until he could flop back into his chair to wallow through the last vestiges of his afterglow. He took stock of himself. Thighs were marked as usual and he could feel the heat of where Derek had bit the back of his neck. Looks like it was high collars for awhile with those marks alone, let along the bruises he could feel on his throat. His cheek was a little sore, must have scrapped it against the desk at some point. Looks like he was going to have to ‘walk into a doorway’ or something for that one.

He would just…sit here for a bit longer. Not to long because he had to gather papers up and figure out what ones he’d messed up and then get home before Derek’s cum ruined another pair of pants but for right now? Now he would just…sit here. 

He had to tell him..it wasn’t right to not let Derek know that every full moon he tracked Stiles down and fucked him so good. Ruined him for everyone else. Though it was nice to know that Derek actually tracked him down and wasn’t just going to Stiles house because that’s where the creeper always ended up when he was being a creeper. 

Maybe tomorrow. Yeah tomorrow. Tomorrow he would pull Derek aside. Somewhere no one else could hear and tell him the truth. That he was a horrible selfish person that took advantage of the situation he’d found himself falling into every month. Maybe…maybe tomorrow.

As Stiles hauled himself to his feet, ignoring the faint twinges of pain and started to clean up, one thing still eluded him. A fact that never surfaced in his supposedly keen mind. Derek was a werewolf.

Maybe the first time it was the moon. A loss of control could happen. Derek was still learning himself for all his ‘natural born’ talent. But it was just that. Natural Born. Stiles could go home and wash himself, avoid Derek for a few days until the scent faded along with marks but Derek? Derek would wake in the morning and know. He’d smell Stiles on him, all over him. So to come back? Every full moon? To never be aware of it?

Well….red eyes watching Stiles through the window, hidden under the glare of a street light and bushes, they were greedy too. Selfish and unsure of how to approach in the daylight. How to stay. How to want without it turning into ash and smoke and pain. He was getting closer though. Every day, every moon was another step. 

Maybe tomorrow. Yeah tomorrow. Tomorrow he would pull Stiles aside. Somewhere no one else could hear and tell him the truth. That he was a horrible selfish person that took advantage of the situation he’d found himself falling into every month. Maybe…maybe tomorrow.


	2. Waning Moon - Derek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek knows he needs to come clean. He KNOWS it but he didn't think it would be this HARD, and why is Peter in his loft?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You lil shits. This was supposed to be a simple one shot and nooo~oooo y'all had to give me the sad eyes and go 'please sir, may I have some more?' I was like 'well I mean..I can write something right? Mostly more porn I suppose..' but oo~oohhh no. No. The plot was like 'oh what's that? A second chapter? Pft nawww, this gun be fucking 3 more chapters bitch' I hope you are all happy ;n;
> 
> No beta, again.

It roiled, low in his gut. It hovered in the back of his mind, no matter what the topic. He couldn't get rid of it, couldn't assuage it and it only grew the more time went on. He had thought eventually, it would stop. Either the guilt or the act that caused it. Instead, neither happened and he soon found it dogging his every step. Everything seemed to bring it to mind nowadays. The guilt.

Sleeping brought no relief. It only brought dreams, both good and bad. Some were memories, recalling snippets and sweet pleasure. He even dreamed a few times of confessing and in those dreams, Stiles turned red and stammered that he'd known. Those ones were foggy and ended with groping hands and eager lips and left him waking with a low pitiful whine.

Then there was the bad ones. Good memories turned wrong. Where he'd clawed a little to deep, bit a little to hard. It was so dangerous, so...risky. Then...even worse then those dreams. Were the ones where he confessed and had to watch Stiles face twist in disgust and anger. Had to listen as Stiles spat hateful words at him. Sometimes he just lost Stiles. Other times...Stiles told others and he lost everyone, everything...again.

He had to tell him, had to confess. Even if he lost everything..he could not stand it any longer. Sometimes...sometimes Stiles watched him. He could feel the eyes on him like a physical touch. He didn't dare turn, didn't dare meet Stiles eyes at those times. What would he see? Anger at having taken what he should have never touched? Over and over? Distrust? He deserved it. Deserved all of it. He was no better then...Her.

Seated on the spiral stairs, he did not even notice when the door opened. Just enough to let someone quietly slip in. “I've seen that expression before.” Came a low voice that startled Derek, though his only reaction was to lift his head, eyes immediately narrowing. Peter gave a wry smile, perhaps just a little tired with sadness touching his eyes. He crossed his arms on the banister, looking up at him. “Cora let me in.” He said with a little shrug before he sighed. “So. Who is it?”

Derek just snorted softly, lips peeling back from his lips faintly in a sneer. “What do you want?” He snapped, his temper was too short for this. Had been fraying more and more. He'd been snapping at everyone lately and he hated it. The last thing he needed was Peter.

Peter cocked his head, looking Derek over slowly before he exhaled through his nose. “I know.” He said simply, not reacting when alarm flared for the briefest of seconds in Derek's eyes. So guarded his nephew was. So tense. “You forget, I've seen you like this before Derek. I can guess who it is too. So what happened?” He could tell Derek was a coiled wire of anger, so close to snapping. To breaking apart. He had no right to be here, to ask to be let in but despite everything...Derek was family. Derek needed him, whether he wanted to admit it or not. “Don't.” He said, tone firm. “I know you don't trust me and I don't blame you, but Cora is hiding in my house. Looks like Issac is at Scott's again. Your pack walks around you on eggshells when they have to be around you at all, are you going to be that sort of Alpha?” He asked, pushing hard. He nearly held his breath, watching as conflicting emotions flashed through Derek's eyes before his shoulders slumped and he looked away. Peter hated that look of defeat on Derek's face more then he wanted to admit. “Let me guess, the Fever.” It was an alpha's job to form a solid and secure pack. That included a few 'parts' other then just members. It included searching for someone strong. Perhaps not physically, but someone that was a support. That filled the holes in the alpha's strength. 

Scott had Alison, they balanced each other out and were stronger together for it, despite the challenges. Every wolf sought their match, but with an alpha it was a near constant itch. A stronger alpha meant a stronger pack. The Fever was something that plagued every wolf to a degree, almost like being moon starved. It suppressed the parts of you that would normally hesitate, whether it be out of nerves or self-consciousness. It was harsher on alpha's, especially young ones. They hadn't learned as much yet, Derek should never have been an alpha but at the very least...not so young. Same with Laura. Much to young. 

Derek flinched slightly, raising a hand to cover his face with a slow shaky sigh that Peter echoed. There was quiet in the loft for a time as Peter waited to see if Derek would speak yet. Seeing nothing come, he pursed his lips faintly. “That explains the first time, but what about the rest?” That he didn't understand. The Fever was usually a one shot deal, very rarely did it overcome you twice. Once you went through it, you knew the signs. Derek was young and stupid, but not that young and stupid. So how..? Tilting his head to look up at Derek's face, an expression of surprise flickered over Peter's face when he caught sight of the helpless look his nephew sported. “It wasn't the Fever. Not after the first time, was it?” He guessed, words coming out slowly before he gave a soft whistle. “He doesn't know either, does he? He thinks it's the same as the first moon.” He didn't have to guess for that one. It made all the other pieces fit together.

Derek hesitated, this was Peter. Peter had killed Laura. Tried to kill them. He had killed Peter and then the man had used Lydia to come back. This was Peter. On the other half....this was Peter. His uncle that had been his closest friend. His best friend. Who else did he have? As much as he hated to admit it...he desperately needed help. “No.” He eventually gritted out, scrubbing his hands over his head roughly as if he could slough off the guilt like a snake does dead skin. It didn't work any more this time then it had the other times. He swallowed hard when Peter hummed, bracing himself for some sort of sarcastic comment. Something harsh and biting, even a mocking smile. Derek felt like someone had yanked a support out from under him when Peter only pursed his lips. “You'll have to eventually.” Derek chanced a look and saw none of the mocking he had expected and was not sure what he thought of it.

He had a slew of comments he could make, but he said none of them. This was not something he should prick at. “He looks at you, when he thinks you wont notice. Not just anyone would...let it happen over and over. Keep the secret.” He added. He'd seen the looks. For a teenager, Stiles was good at hiding his emotions when he wanted to but he couldn't hide the smaller things. A hitch of breath, an increase of heartbeat. Little things that spoke louder the words or expressions. Stiles kept the secret and never turned Derek away. Month after month. Moon after moon. There was something there, a kernel and he was not a religious man by far but...Peter prayed this time, fate would be kind to Derek.

Derek gave a jerky nod, looking up out the massive window. “I know.” He said. He had gotten no real advise, not been told anything that he did not already know but he felt...better. Fortified. It did not erase everything that had happened but...it helped. He nodded again to Peter's quiet. “Soon?” before silence reigned in the loft. It was broken only when Peter went to the kitchen. Derek didn't look up but a faint smile touched the corner of his lips. Hot chocolate and coffee. When Derek was younger, Peter used to make that for him. He was sure his mother knew there was coffee in it but she let them pretend they were sneaky. Peter would brew coffee and mix hot chocolate in it. He made it the best. Powder first and then milk. Mix it till it was thick and then pour the coffee in. It was...richer that way. Better. He let the familiar smell calm him as he started to plan. The full moon was coming up. Only a few days now. He didn't have much time. He couldn't..do it again. If he did...he would lose his nerve so it had to be..soon. Very soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jk I love you all, I hope y'all like this! <3


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